Talking Deep

Bible Reading: Ephesians 4:25-29

Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29

Brent loved the Wednesday night kids’ club at church. He got into games like a maniac, memorized Bible verses faithfully, and paid close attention during Bible lessons.

Yet when the club leader said that the kids would break into small groups for a few minutes each week for a time called “Care and Share,” Brent said, “No way.” He didn’t hide his disgust. “Girls gab,” he argued. “Boys don’t.”

Maybe you think you can make real friendships without ever talking about solid stuff. But you might as well try to make friends with a wall. Friendships need talk-time to grow. The deeper you go into understanding one another’s lives—talking about your feelings, favorites, and frights—the deeper your friendship grows.

Listen to these ways we can talk—going deeper step-by-step:

• Level 1: Chitchat talk. Your conversation starts and stops with “Dude, how’s it going?” “Fine, how about you?” You never get beyond “Wassup?”

• Level 2: Fact talk. You swap information about shared interests—sports scores, clothing styles, school subjects, music groups, school events, etc. You talk about stuff “out there,” not how you feel about it.

• Level 3: Opinion talk. You take facts a step deeper by sharing your thoughts and ideas about them. If you talk scores, you tell your favorite play of the game. If you discuss music, you share what you think about the lyrics of a song. You’re getting closer to personal issues, but you’re still basically playing it safe.

Here’s where you head deeper. Do you ever get to these?

• Level 4: Feelings talk. You share how you feel about factual matters. “When that happened, I was really scared!” “This has been the loneliest week of my life.” “Since Nate told that lie about me, I’ve been totally sad.” You start to see what goes on inside each other.

• Level 5: Gut talk. You chat about your deepest feelings. You’re completely open about your life.

We all need friends we trust so completely that we can be totally open about ourselves. It’s the only way to go deep—whether you’re a gal or a guy!

TALK: How well do you share deeply with your friends? How would you like to grow in that area?

PRAY: Father, give us friends with whom we can share our deepest thoughts and feelings.

ACT: How do you talk as a family? Take time today to talk deep.